I keep thinking as soon as things settle down I'll post more often and then they don't so I don't.
One of the concepts I learned in my therapy experience was the idea of The Healing Image. The basic idea is that you have this picture in your head of the person you'd like to become. This person has the character traits you wish you had, has accomplished the goals you've set for yourself, handles conflict the way you would prefer to, is basically living the life you would live if there were no personal barriers.
You then take apart this idealized version of you. You figure out what parts are different from who you currently are and you pick one to work on. You preferably do this in some way you can keep track of, most likely through a journal of some sort. I figure I can track this sort of thing on my blog and shuffle any really personal stuff off to a journal. At the very least it should give me more to post about.
The vision I see of me has graduated from college with a computer science degree and is working as a programmer. He still enjoys art, though, and sculpts, draws, paints and messes around with computer graphics. He's working on his own side business either developing web pages or computer games of some sort as a creative outlet that earns some money on the side or even just for fun. He's somewhat politically active, fighting for causes and individuals in which he believes. He's not a pushover, unafraid of making his opinion known while remaining tactful and gracious to those around him.
He's also smoking hot. Wait... there's no goals to set there.
Uh he's humble too.
So my first trait I'd like to work on is becoming assertive without pushing past that into the less-socially-acceptable aggressive. I'd like to be able to make my needs and wants known instead of deferring to whomever has the loudest or most charasmatic voice. Part of gaining this assertive trait is recognizing that I have valid needs and wants. It's easy to lose yourself if you feel everyone else is of more worth than you are.
Tomorrow I'll post more about one of the methods I learned in my goal to become more assertive.
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12 comments:
Great post, Jer.
I find my problem with coming up with the healing image, is I have no 'dreams' or 'ideals' to picture. NO, I DO NOT MEAN I'M ALREADY PERFECT - FAR FROM IT!! Rather, I don't even know where to start, or what to wish for. It's hard and it makes me sad sometimes.
But you? You I love.
I like the idea of a healing image, but, like Wry, I have a hard time figuring out what I'd ideally like to be. I would like to be better at being who and what I know I already I am (the good parts of me, anyway), and I'm on a pretty relentless self-improvement kick at the moment. So maybe I just wanna be me.
Thanks for looking out for Christy, you're a good man, Jer.
Lately I have been imagining someone who is quietly confident and flexible, but not breakable. I hope I will be able to be like this when we go visit family this summer.
I am glad you were there for Christy, Jer. I second Wry Catcher's comment. You are a good man.
Good man Jer. Right now a lot of the focus is on Christy because of her experience. I'm thinking about you too. *smooches*
Oh, and next time I come to SLC, we are going to have to figure out how to hang golden balls on moroni.
Ros... wouldn't that mean Moroni was... hung?
sideon: You are the MasterOfTheDouble Entendrea. Bustin' my shit up indeed!
Forgive me in advance for this, but I can't resist:
I take some paper in my hand, and with a pencil draw a man,
The dream of what I’d really, really like to be.
A man with courage in his brow, whose licked his doubts and fears somehow,
A Warrior of great nobility.
I must confess, I still love that cheesy music, especially that song.
At any rate, once you get that CS degree, I'll hook you up with a nice cushy job here in Seattle. :)
Hey Sols - I LOVE THAT SONG TOO! Let's be geeks together. I do like SW, it's good stuff honestly. And that song is the best. I hum it frequently.
So now I'm Out. And proud.
Glad to see you hangin in there bud. I want to learn to express myself so eloquently. Can you teach me?
BTW, nice self portrait. You have a nose. Is this more of the new Jeremy? People with noses? What's next?
Good god people, Saturday's Warrior? *wretch*...
...
Ok Fine, I thought about that guy drawing people in the park the first time the concept of the healing image was brought up as well. Damn you Saturday's Warrior!
I'm no better than any other man, I just want Christy well taken care of and happy. She's a pretty cool person.
I was soo in love with SW after I saw it on stage in Idaho. I fantasized that I was like the main characters and had a special someone from the Pre-Ex. who was as cute as what's-his-name. I'm glad to say that I over that fantasy.
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