There have been a rash of split-ups or close calls among close friends and acquaintances in the past 6 months and I'm beginning to wonder how any marriage makes it out of the church alive. If you're not splitting because one of you still believes, then you're splitting because you both made it out and one of you realized you were married for the wrong reasons upon deep introspection.
I don't think anyone should stay together for the sake of the kids though. Life is too short to spend it miserable and unhappy. If you got married at the typical mormon age of 18 to 21 there's a lot of missed opportunities for growth and I don't think you know enough at such a young age to make a decision like who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe I'm just projecting though, I certainly knew very little at that age.
For those that make it through all this in spite of everything and are still in love with each other, I envy you.
But I'm realizing more and more that there's not a right way at life. Things are what they are and it's mostly unfulfilled expectations that cause pain for me. If I live focused in the present and deal with problems as they come I feel much more confident and healthy. If I grasp, iron-fisted, to these ideals I held up as my future then I end up angry and hurt and not just a little crazy.
I'm working on staying aware of the present and not letting thoughts of the future run away too much. The future doesn't exist yet, why spend so much emotional energy on something that's all in my head? Usually I fail spectacularly at this but at least I'm conscious of it.
So I'm going to see Morrissey tonight. It's not at a small venue so I'm sure to be let down after being spoiled last week. But I loved The Smiths the very first time I heard them as well as some of Morrissey's later solo stuff so I know I'll enjoy it.